Whatever Happened to Jaden Violet?

…she now rests in Medium’s cemetery

What? She DIED?

Well, yes, metaphorically speaking, she did.

And I am here to address those rumors about a suspension.

Yes. She was suspended.

She was suspended for harassing Caitlin Johnstone.

How do I know this?

Because its me…

Jaden Violet. (And yes, its wasn’t that hard to figure out)

But I want to give you another image of a cemetery. A HAPPY cemetery.

Painted wooden crosses in the famous Merry Cemetery in Maramures, Romania. (Danilovski / Shutterstock.com)

WHAT?

A happy cemetery?

Yes.

The Cimitirul Vesel, the world’s happiest cemetery.

The Merry Cemetery is more an open-air tourist attraction than a graveyard, and the Romanians’ down-to-earth nature leaves visitors laughing in the face of death. Playful, historic and tucked away, this gem bridging life and death provides an intimate look at the country’s true nature.

I found out about this cemetery through one of my dear friends, who I have gotten the pleasure to Skype with, Ana. I wrote a piece on dying and she told me of this place.

See, for the longest time, I debated whether or not to let people know what had happened.

I had built up a reputation ( however one does that on an online community is up for debate), or thought I had, and when the account was held in suspension, a part of me died.

See, I’ve been writing on here going on three years.

Thats a LOT of writing. And I mean ALOT.

And I had gained over four thousand followers, (which I believe to be bots, which happened right before the holidays) So, as humans go, the ego kicked in.

After a considerable amount of time had passed, and I inquired to my Medium status. And they said…

So, I went and looked at it.

And after reading some of my four thousand stories ( that includes responses) …

I’m not that same person.

Funny thing is, I had gone in earlier and DELETED this account, because I just figured it was all done and gone.

I had already killed my own work, so, essentially I killed myself.

But thats the thing about writing. Your stories never really go away. Okay, yes, that version you wrote at 3am on a rainy Tuesday morning is gone, but its essence, its soul is still there.

I’m glad I got suspended. I really am. It made me take a deep hard look at myself, as a writer and as a human being.

I really had no idea what being on a social media platform can do to you, if you’re not careful. Its changes your outlook, your views, your schema.

What is a schema?

In psychology and cognitive science, a schema (plural schemata or schemas) describes a pattern of thought or behavior that organizes categories of information and the relationships among them.[1] It can also be described as a mental structure of preconceived ideas, a framework representing some aspect of the world, or a system of organizing and perceiving new information.[2] Schemata influence attention and the absorption of new knowledge: people are more likely to notice things that fit into their schema, while re-interpreting contradictions to the schema as exceptions or distorting them to fit. Schemata have a tendency to remain unchanged, even in the face of contradictory information. Schemata can help in understanding the world and the rapidly changing environment.[3] People can organize new perceptions into schemata quickly as most situations do not require complex thought when using schema, since automatic thought is all that is required.

People use schemata to organize current knowledge and provide a framework for future understanding. Examples of schemata include academic rubrics, social schemas, stereotypes, social roles, scripts, worldviews, and archetypes. In Piaget’s theory of development, children construct a series of schemata, based on the interactions they experience, to help them understand the world.

When I first came onto Medium, I started as a writer for Umoja Power. And people began to read my work, and I began to make all kinds of virtual friends. And I also began to notice how people responded to seriously outrageous behavior when those people would attack the writers of subjects that pertained to racism, sexism, abortion, feminism, gun control and the like.

And I can tell you…I WAS GROOMED to learn how to fight back.

The rules were pretty simple.

• Use big bold print e.g. to emphasize your point
• If possible, somehow infer their intelligence may be lacking
• Go several rounds ( I did this, unaware this would NOT help)
• Eventually tag this person as a TROLL
• And request backup

( sidenote…I had no idea what a troll was, when someone told me this person was “ trolling” me, I imagined a boat on the high seas trolling for fish and wondered what that had to do with the price of butter)

In addition, since everyone spoke in this manner…

I followed right along.

However, I never used words that referred to the female anatomy, nor did I ever use the n-word ( only to make said point, then profusely apologized later), but everything was up for grabs.

How many times have I left, only to return?

Three.

1. Accused of writing stories about BLM to gain readers
2. Accused of calling someone a con artist ( only to find out they were, among other things)vindicated, but lost many online buddies
3. Over spamming Caitlin Johnstone

And I thought to myself…

“Seriously? This has happened to me three times? Is the third time a charm? Can I continue to write under my cats names?”

For me, its all about ETHICS.

And if Medium had said…

“We’re terribly sorry, but you are no longer welcome on this platform…”

Then I would have packed my bags and ridden off into the sunset…

But they didn’t. And I seriously thank the good lord Jesus for that one. ( not like I don’t thank him for everything else!)

See, I’ve learned a few things about Medium, and I would list them, but the list would be WAY TOO LONG, but one thing stands out above all the rest…

Managing ones responses to ones stories/articles/ essays.

And it was literally a click away.

Since I have learned to manage my responses, my writing has taken on a whole new meaning.

I no longer go into a fit of rage when someone I don’t even know accuses me of being a liar or a thief ( where thiefhood comes into play, I’ll never know) or accuses me of being a social justice warrior, or virtue signaling, or using identity politics in my writing, nope, I have better things to do with my energy.

When you attack me like an immature toddler, then I will MANAGE you as such.

When you use derogatory female parts to slur me, then I will MANAGE you.

If you can’t see or even fathom someone else’s point of view, I will MANAGE your responses on my threads. Plain and simple.

If your responses lead others to join on your bandwagon of demeaning me or other writers on this forum, I will MANAGE you with a click of the mouse.

DONE.

So, in conclusion…

Thank you to whoever has been watching me like a hawk and reporting me to Medium, so that Gerald from the happiness desk had to contact me. Honestly, I KNOW who you are, and so does ALOT of other people on this forum …we’re also watching you.

And THANK YOU for making me a better writer.